Narcissistic

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/toxic-relationships/201709/how-spot-narcissistic-abuse

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One thought on “Narcissistic”

  1. I was in a 5 year relationship, which based on the outline in the Article, that was a Malgrant Narccistic. It was a slow drip right off the bat, but I was lonely, he appeared gorgeous, and I was flattered that he even paid attention to me!
    If you had asked me at the time to write down the archetype of the guy I wanted as a boyfriend, he would fit the bill: He was 6’4″, 2 years younger, beautiful pale grey eyes, smart (we met at our University in New Haven, CT), was from the Czech Republic so he spoke with a great accent, and he was in good shape, we both enjoyed Crew, Kayaking, Running and swimming. Sounds good, right?
    He was also mean-spirited, abusive, loved to humiliate me, and convinced me I he was the best so otherwise I needed to kill myself, because no one liked me. One day he tried the one thing that changes my life! He would threaten abuse, but he had never touched me. One day, we got into a fight because I didn’t want to speak Czech, and he took me down, snatched a lap out of the socket, he said he would strangle me until I begged for his forgiveness. I snapped! I don’t remember much, other than he had physical injuries and needed to be seen in the hospital and then went to jail. I kicked the living fuck out of his ass! And that was the day my relationship with him ended for good. It took him putting an extension cord around my neck, before I realized this motherfucker would kill me because he thought I wouldn’t stop him.
    In any case, the red-lights I had were: hiding my unhappiness from my friends, eventually cutting them off; lying about how great our relationship was; accepting fault for EVERTHING because he was a Doctor and therefore perfect and my job was totally insignificant to his because I didn’t have people’s “life or death” in my hands; he had me convinced that when I ended up with Gonorrhoea on my vocal cords, which required two surgeries, It was my fault because I shared a beer with my Buddy who had Strep (never questioned his medical knowledge b/c he was a Doc and I thought he wouldn’t lie); and lastly, he would shout and I believed it when he said, ” you made me do it or say it”!
    It has been 14 years since then, and I know if I stayed, I would be dead (by suicide or his hands). I haven’t been in a relationship since, but with therapy, my pup, and friends, I am good! I have no regrets! I love my independence; my right to say “No”; my right to make NO space in my life for mean-spirited/evil people; and I love saying, “I don’t like or appreciate that” and walk away!
    So, if you are in or have been in a relationship, like above or otherwise, it is a fucking stupid cliche – love yourself first. Once I realized I could, no stupid boy ever makes me feel as though I am lesser than anyone other than myself.

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